On Turning 30

Or alternate title: Call the Fire Department (that's a lot of candles!)

When I was a teenager, I dreaded turning 30. 30 was old! Old as dirt! 30 was wrinkles and grey hairs and one foot in the grave. 30 was the end of your youth; it meant minivans and succumbing to soccer mom-ness, high waisted jeans and the end of being cool. Anything about you that was hip died a horrible death when you turned 30.

I have a much different and educated view on 30 now. I may have found a grey hair the other day (either that or it was very blonde) and high waisted jeans have nothing on maternity jeans (let me tell you) but turning 30 ain't so bad. I have some wrinkles around my eyes, but that's because I laugh a lot and love the sun. 30? Isn't old.

Five years ago, I turned 25 (duh). I was very excited to turn a quarter century old, and put a lot of unrealistic expectations and goals on the upcoming year. It turned out to be the worst and hardest year I'd ever been through. I was in an accident that nearly claimed my life. I remember thinking that this was completely going to mess up "My Plans".

Turns out, the best way to make God laugh is tell Him about "My Plans".

Recovering from that accident was difficult. I will never be 100% again of course, and I carry a new diagnosis of Degenerative Disk Disease (DDD) in my lower back (yowch) with me everywhere I go, but I'm here and that's the important thing.

Every single one of those days since then has been a gift. On bad days when I'm pulling my hair out and being driven crazy, I remember that, 'Today is a gift.' I almost wasn't here to have those bad days. I would go through it all again in a heartbeat to have Ryan, Cailin and Jellybean in my life and I know how very blessed I am to have my little family.

So is turning 30 a Big Deal to me? Not really, and at the same time, yes. It's just a number, though I am glad to have the chance to have another birthday. I know people put a lot of emphasis on the passing of their 20s and embarking on a new decade, and celebrate by taking elaborate vacations and such, but that just isn't me.

While I would have loved to take a trip to Hawaii, I don't need to celebrate a milestone birthday to do that. I just need lots of money and time. Since we don't have much of either to spare, this will have to wait. I have a feeling that Disneyland is going to come first though. Kids will do that to you.

I also would have liked to use my 29th year to work my butt off (hee!) to get fit and healthy and lose a bunch of weight in honor of my 30th birthday, but being pregnant and all.... Well, maybe for my 31st birthday. It's going to happen eventually; I want to be really healthy for my kids.

This I do know: I'm going to celebrate in my own style. As it turns out, that means wearing flipflops and sporting a fairly big baby bump. With a large piece of cake in my hand. Shared with Cailin of course.

They don't tell you what life will be like after having kids. They don't tell you that you will organize your memories into those of Before Kids and those of After Kids. That you will split your life into those same categories.

The best part about turning 30? It will be the year I will have completed my family; both my kids will be here and we will have been married for two years. Bring it on, 30s. I'm ready for you (but take it easy on my back okay?).